I spent this past weekend out on the golf course watching my son compete, and while I was mostly focused on the game, I ended up finding a great lesson in communication and human behaviour.
It was a simple white sign staked near the start of the course that caught my eye. It started with a basic question: “Did you know?”
Every golf course has the exact same problem: players don’t repair their pitchmarks. To an individual golfer, leaving one little dent in the grass doesn’t seem like a big deal. You’re tired, you’re thinking about your next shot, and you figure, “It’s just one tiny mark. Someone else will get it.” But this sign didn’t yell at players or threaten them. It just laid out the facts and gave them some perspective:
- On average, 8ball marks are made per round, per golfer.
- With 130 rounds a day on the course, that’s1,040 dents daily.
- That’s31,000 a month.
- Andover 374,000 pitchmarks damaging the course every single year.
Suddenly, that one tiny mark you were about to walk away from doesn’t look so small. The sign completely reframes the situation. It helps the golfer realise they aren’t just leaving one minor dent; they are actively contributing to a massive problem that ruins the green for everyone, including themselves.
As I walked away, it hit me that this is exactly what happens in negotiations all the time. In business, when people refuse to budge, it’s rarely because they are just being mean or stubborn. Usually, it’s simply because they lack understanding.
Why We Get Stuck
When a negotiation hits a wall, our immediate reaction is to think the other side is being “difficult” or unreasonable. We get frustrated, we push harder, or we try to use leverage to force them to agree.
But just like the golfer who walks past their pitchmark, the person across the table might just be missing the bigger picture. They are looking at the deal through a microscope, focused entirely on their own immediate cost or timeline. They genuinely don’t see how their refusal to move impacts everything else.
If you want to break a deadlock and actually get people to move, your job isn’t to win an argument. Your job is to give them the perspective they need to see why a shift is necessary. Clear communication has to be the priority.
How to Give the Other Side “The Sign”
To get movement in a negotiation, you have to break down the information so it actually connects. Here is how to apply the golf sign approach to your next business discussion:
1. Spell out the actual damage
The golf sign didn’t just say “pitchmarks ruin the grass.” It used hard numbers to make a hidden problem visible. When you’re negotiating, avoid vague phrases like “This delay is going to hurt us.” That doesn’t mean anything to them. Instead, put a number on it: “A two-week delay on this sign-off pushes our launch date past the holiday rush and costs us an extra 12% in shipping.”
2. Show the cumulative effect
Help them see how a small shift on their end prevents a massive bottleneck down the line. If a team is digging their heels in over a minor contract clause, show them what that looks like scaled up over a two-year partnership. When people realise that a small concession today saves them a massive headache tomorrow, the price of moving suddenly feels a lot lower.
3. Connect the action to a shared goal
The sign ends with a great question: “Are you wondering how to make a putt under these conditions? REPAIR YOUR PITCHMARKS.” It connects the action directly to what the golfer wants—a smooth putt. In negotiation, you have to explicitly show how the movement you are asking for ultimately serves their interests, too.
Final Thoughts
True communication isn’t just about stating your demands; it’s about giving people the right information so they can see the right path forward for themselves.
The next time you find yourself stuck at a standstill, step back and look at the data you’ve shared. Have you actually painted a clear picture of what’s at stake? Or are you expecting them to fix a problem they don’t even know they’re causing?
When you give people the right perspective, you don’t have to force them to move, they’ll do it on their own.
